in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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