I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
