So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Text me some of your sweat
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
