Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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