Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
