dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
