I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
