she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
