is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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