I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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