But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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