ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
