no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
