The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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