Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
