Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
