bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
