So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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