my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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