If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
