It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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