I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
