i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize