So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
