Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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