Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
