What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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