im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.