I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!