Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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