I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?