Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
