I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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