I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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