CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize