Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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