Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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