Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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