I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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