Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
