What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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