New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Enjoy the penises
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
