Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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