from now on my penis is your penis
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
where are my eyebrows?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
