There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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