dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
handjob tips. give me some.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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