He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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