getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize