Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
