Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
