I want to stick my p in your. b.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
