you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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