i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
