i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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