I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
