Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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