i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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