i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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