Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
