I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
