do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize