I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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