I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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