she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
