She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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